Citius, Altius, Fortius : What's Age Got To Do With It?

             Last week, the Olympic swimming pool was set on fire (figuratively). Two women, Rita Meilutyte (Lithuania) and Ye Shiwen (China) won Gold in their respective competitions. 100 meters breast stroke for the Lithuanian & 400 meters individual medley for the Chinese. What's so great about it? One might ask, if he/she is not much into swimming or even sports at large. Well, in doing so Rita became the first ever Olympic medal winner for her country and Shiwen set a new world record. The true cynic might still say that a lot of records are being broken. "After all, it's the Olympics". The most important thing about their records is that they are just 15 and 16 years old respectively. There are champions and there are Olympic champions and then there is this pantheon of champions. These two young women will be always be a part of that elite coterie. Winners in their own right, who sacrificed much of the fun and frolic which girls of their age were having. Having toiled day and night for most part of last 4 years and more with just one ambition....to win at the Olympics. 'Catch em young' is not a new theory in sports. It's been there since cold war times, may be even before. When the eastern (communists led by Soviet Union) & western (capitalists led by USA) block countries went to any lengths to ensure that their sports persons were able to outsmart competitors from other 'front'. This included identifying children of, as tender an age as, 4-5 and enrolling them for government funded sports programs. It meant the child was dedicated to a particular sport. He/She was taken care of completely. They were fed, nurtured and given training of the highest level and of the most rigorous nature so that they could be ready to perform and succeed at the highest level. But the idea then was not to win a mere competition. It was to prove which ideology was better & stronger, Communism or Capitalism.Now that's not sport, right? That was cold war for you. Nadia Comaneci was 15 when she scored the first perfect 10 in Gymanstics, so was Tara Lipinski, when she won Gold in figure skating. Even our own Sachin Tendulkar was 16 when he made his debut and 17 when he scored his first international century. At age 39, after a 100 international centuries, he is not finished yet. Age has got nothing to do with it.

                  What is right for the physical holds even 'truer' for the spiritual. Age is not a bar for a person's growth in the Lord. One's growth is directly proportionate to how much one is ready to be generous. Generous in expending oneself wholly for the Lord. Now that is no as easy a task as it sounds because unlike the govt. funded sports programs, here the Good Lord has specially customised plan for each one. It is tailor made for the individual and never encroaches into the will of the individual. the individual may decide to exercise his will over the Lord's will/plan for him and thus may prevent him from reaching where the Lord planned to take him to. Over the last 2000 years Catholic church has produced select type of men & women who took upon themselves the task of reaching the highest level of union with Christ, of pursuing and achieving purity of the highest order. They have come to be known as The Saints. These are people Catholics venerate (not worship) and seek their intercession. They are considered as role models who are to be used as guides who journey along with us on our christian walk, beacons who shed light when we may find ourselves covered in darkness. And guide us they do, beautifully indeed. They were ordinary mortals who chose the road less traveled and were, somewhere along the journey, transformed by the Lord's infinite Grace & mercy into His own image. Knowing very well that a moment spent with the Lord in Eternity is better than ages spent down on earth in worldly glory, they turned away from the wide road which the world took and instead chose the narrow path which led them to Christ (and also His promises). Like true champions they were very clear about what they wanted as their eternal prize. Christ and Christ alone, They come from as many diverse cultures as one can possibly imagine and fall under all sorts of age groups.

Just as in Olympics, one finds in this select company, boys and girls of tender age. Young ones who aspired to see God face to face. Who took His message of love and forgiveness, interiorised it and then applied it to their lives and their relationships.
St. Dominic Savio was 15 when he died. His last words being "... Oh, what wonderful things I see .....".
Blessed Jacinta & Francisco and Sr.Lucia were between 10-12 years old when Mother Mary appeared to at Fatima and gave them prophesies about the world.
St.Maria Goretti was just 12 when she died after being stabbed 14 times by a man whom she resisted while he tried to force himself on her. Before dying she forgave the man and prayed that he also enters heaven.
St.Therese of Lisieux died at the age of 24 but not before giving the world her own 'little way' to reach Jesus.
St.Joan of The Arc  13 when she heard the 'voices' which led to her victory on the battlefield and 19 when she was burnt at stake by the orders of the clergy of her time who misunderstood her for a witch. She went through persecutions at the hands of our own Church. It was another 500 years before the Church rectified its mistake and declared her a saint.
St. Clare of Assisi was 18 when she heard St.Francis preach the radical message on poverty and was touched immediately by the call to give up all of her worldly possessions.
St.Philomena was 14 as per christian tradition when she was martyred for her faith in Jesus so was St.Bernadette when Mother Mary appeared to her at Lourdes and confirmed the dogma of Immaculate Conception through this peasant girl.

The list goes on and on and on..... There are enough young giants in the catholic church to draw inspiration from that one does not need to look at the champions who excelled in this flawed world. You name a need , a petition and there will be a saint who became a saint at an age most of us were just trying to figure out what this life is all about, let alone know God. Age has got nothing to do with it , it never had. All one needs is a generous heart which is ready to give all to God and for God and the Lord will ensure that we reach our final destination viz Him citius, altius, fortius (faster, higher and stronger).

Ps: With this, the 3 part series on Olympics is over and so is the London Olympics, 2012. Must confess did spend a lot more time watching it than I should have. Now back to a fruitful & productive life.

Citius, Altius, Fortius : Olympics In Jesus' Times

The London games are still a couple of days away and the first medals are yet to be won but any Christian worth his salt would know that the fight for a podium finish is not a new one but one that is at least 2000 years old. 

Today , The Church celebrates the feast of  St. James (Apostle & Martyr). James was the brother of John, another apostle of Christ. Holy scriptures tell us in Mark 10:35-45  the story of how these two brothers filled with ambitions of wane glory approached the Lord requesting for a official position to the right & left of Christ, once the Lord would establish His Kingdom. Now in Olympic parlance, the winner is at the centre, the silver medal winner is to the right of the  Gold medal winner and the bronze medal winner to the left of the Gold winner. So effectively, these two assumed themselves to be the next best after Jesus and had probably begun romancing the idea of succeeding Christ and inheriting His kingdom. Obviously, they had no clue of what they were asking for. There is no point blaming these two, the other 10 apostles were no different. Though they did not demand positions or designations, they were blinded by jealousy and competitive spirit. They must have muttered amongst themselves “How dare these two ask of such a high favour from the Lord, do they think we are not as good as them or do they think we are dead?" Insecure at the thought of their other brothers taking prime positions in the kingdom (the reality of which they had no clue of) must have made their inner being writhe with avarice. Perhaps, the thought of losing a race, which never existed, was too much to bear. 

The good Lord knowing well what was going on in the feeble minds of the ten calls them and ends up giving them one of the most avoided teachings of Christianity today. Those who want to be first in heaven will have to come last here on Earth and those who want to be great in the Kingdom will have to become the least in this world. There is a paradox in here. Sure enough, Christianity is religion of many paradoxes. I mean where else do you get a God who out of sheer love for His creation, comes down to become man and dies for His people. Where else do we get a God, who not only takes our sins away but also forgives them all. He erases our sins and washes us white as snow. A God who saves us inspite of us.  This paradox was highlighted by 'TheWoman@thewell' in one of her blogs sometime ago. Makes a fine reading.

To the ambitious duo, the Lord asked them if they will drink the cup (of suffering) which is He was about to drink. Of course, still with only starry dreams in their eyes, they replied ‘yes’. Though they had no idea what they were saying ‘yes’ to, James & John ended up proving themselves as men of their word, though it was only James who attained physical martyrdom. Infact, all the disciples of Jesus (except Judas) came out victors as true disciples following their master’s footsteps, bearing their respective crosses and attaining heights of holiness not by might or power of their own but by sheer Grace which flowed directly from the Lord himself as His Spirit led them from one place to another in their ardent quest to make Him known, the One who had saved them, sent them. By the time they were done, the cravings of worldly success had left them and desire to be at a lofty position and be known as successful leaders was dead. All that was alive and glowing was a desire to meet their maker, their saviour, their All in All. To win Gold , Silver or Bronze meant nothing anymore, all that meant was to lose everything and gain Christ in return.

Citius, Altius, Fortius.....Let The Games Begin

......Because this one is all about The Games. The eyes of  the whole world have been on London as they put finishing touches to their preparations for hosting the XXXth Olympic Games. Starting this weekend, London will be the epicenter of all the sporting action as well as attention of sports lovers & scribes. This is the event, sportsmen & women numbering thousands, have been preparing for four years (some even more) to compete with each other to excel in what they do best. Their quest will be to be Citius, Altius, Fortius (Faster, Higher, Stronger, the Olympic motto), than the rest of their competitors and we hope they do it in true Olympic Spirit viz (loosely put) 'not to win but to take part'. For some, a medal in Olympics will ensure that their future is secured and for some others, if not anything else, it will ensure that they have a story to tell their grand children 50 years from now. Medal or no medal, the term Olympian will be suffixed to their names, an honour they will carry with great pride for the rest of their lives.

For years, our great nation has been sending contingents every four years in true Olympic Spirit ie 'to participate and not to win.' Since 1928, India have won only 18 medals in total and 11 of them have come in Hockey. 9 of those medals are Gold and and 8 of those Gold medals are again in Hockey. Just goes on to say how great a nation we were in Hockey. But it was in 1980 we last won the Hockey Gold and though our present team is the best we have produced in years it's not happening this time either, so lets not go there.(May be in 2016 but not this year). Having said that, it is being said that this is the best & the strongest contingent that we have ever sent to The Games. There is a serious hope of winning medals across various disciplines, be it Boxing, Tennis, Badminton, Shooting and even Archery. I believe this edition of Olympics is going to be a fruiful one for our nation. We will know in 3 about weeks how well they do for the nation and themselves.

And why is yours truly writing all this? Well sports have been my life long weakness (I mean besides a few other things ie) and I have grown up watching, reading and playing (not to mention dreaming) sports practically ever since I have been using my five senses. While sports cannot be compared with Mammon, yet there is something gripping about it which can lead some (like me) away from the Lord. Mind you, excess of anything is bad and can also go to the extend of being sinful. For some, it could be their daily peg of whiskey, for some their daily pack of cigarettes......For me one of the things (among a few) has always been sports. Growing up, I would never miss a World Cup, a wimbledon or a French Open, a Champinos Trophy or a Euro cup. I remember in the neighborhood I grew up, we used to play sports as per 'seasons'. If FIFA World or Euro cup was going on, we'd play football, if champions trophy was being played, our hockey sticks would be out and we would put on our tennis shoes during the time of grand slams. Of course, playing is essential and I would say, even critical to one's wholesome growth but not to the point of making it an obsession and for me it always bordered on that. I used to wake up at 3:30am to watch India-New Zealand test matches, stay awake past midnight so that I would not miss that important England-Germany football match. Of course, there were some pluses. One of which was I almost ended up becoming a sports encyclopedia. (Coz the Brain always retains what you are passionate about !). I knew all the records, all the scores and all the history-geography of sports persons, the important dates and venues etc etc etc.........................

And then I met the Lord and sure enough he started putting His finger on my sin areas and after He had begun His work on the 'big ones', He started working on the not so big ones, Sports being the biggest of those 'not so big ones'. By the Lord's Grace, there has been change. Slow yet a positive change. The stats are fading away from memory and the new stats are not getting recorded anywhere, almost as if the disk space is full. It no longer grips me anymore, though it still interests me....a bit. But truth be told, I have just forgotten who won the French Open 2 months ago and frankly, I do not care either. My prayer now is to just take the last figment of interest also out of me. I mean, why should I bother who won what and who lost when & where. These details just end becoming a part of history and with the passage of time, are confined to the archives and for all we know, after a longer period of time, may even be deleted from there as by then new sports persons would have arrived, new records made, even new rules established rendering old player/records/details just irrelevant. Yes, I will be watching it on TV this time also, but not at the expense of my prayer time or my scripture reading or of helping my children with the home work or giving them a bath etc.

I know that all said & done, in the final analysis, the only question worth asking and reflecting upon is "where lies the eternal destiny of my soul?" .....Is it with Jesus or is it without Him? I just cannot think of the second situation as an option. Whatever is not of Him must burn away and my soul must surge faster, higher, stronger to be united with its true lover.......... ie Jesus.

Tiki-Taka & Living In Community

Last week Spain won the European Soccer Championship for the second time in a row. Spain's run in the world of soccer has been nothing less than phenomenal. They entered last Euro, in 2008, as perennial under achievers not having won anything in the previous 44 years. Most of the decade & half till 2008, they entered most all tournaments with a baggage of the past. The burden of not having won anything worthwhile in the world of  football in spite of  being called favourites was just getting too much to bear. But they won that Euro 2008 and then again the world cup in 2010 and then again the Euro last week to make it a golden treble. The first team to win 3 most important tournaments in a row. In recent past, this Spanish team has hardly lost a game.To top it they hardly seem to be conceding any goals either. The game which Spaniards play has come to be known as tiki-taka. Short & clean passes made over and over to each other. On the outside, it looks like a simple strategy. Keep ball possession as much as possible by passing it around amongst your own players. So much so that at times they are able to pass it around without allowing the opposition to touch the ball for minutes together. But in practice, it is not easy and involves hours of practice during training. It's not simply passing but completing those passes, ie passing with precision. It involves focus and it requires depending your team mates, trusting them to receive a pass from a difficult angle, trusting them to bail you out of a tight spot. They compliment each other, they are almost perfect substitutes for each other and they enjoy each other's success. The beauty of this Spanish team is that you cannot pick one player as the greatest or as a star. When you look at them they just look like one body (if I may use the term) and not a group of players And I doubt, if they have been involved in any serious scandals in the recent past. And not for nothing they are the current world champions & double European champions. This is a bunch of guys who just love what they do and they do it best and they go about doing without making much noise. Of course, as always there are critics. Some of them call it boring. Well, its true. doing the right thing repeatedly can be boring to look at from outside. Popular culture always looks for glamour, flamboyance & attitude, even arrogance from performers. This Spanish team has proved that to succeed, none of this need be a raw material.

Now how does all this link to community living? Well, in more ways than one. 

A few are mentioned below...

• Just like football, Community life is a team 'game'. 
• Community living involves a lot of hard work and working together .
• It is a place where you do not necessarily need to have stars. (Best avoided, infact)
• Trust between members is of critical importance.
• 'Running off the ball' to bail another team member is taught, implemented & practiced in day to day living.
• Doing the right thing repeatedly, habitually. Both individually and as a group. (Our lives change when our habits change. Habits create character. Character is our destiny)
• Complimenting each other rather than competing with each other is promoted.
• Enjoying each others' successes (backing each other during their falls) as if it were my own personal success. For in a community set up, where people (are supposed to) live as one body, to divide success & failures into individual portions would be imply encouraging competition (besides other things).          
• My brother's success is my success and my brother's failure/loss is my failure/loss. 

  While the above is the ideal setting and not all the features may be seen at once in any community set up. As Christians, if we fix anything less than Christ as our ideal, it will only bring about our downfall. We must always be encouraged and move towards perfection and believe that 'tiki-taka' success is within the realms of possibility in community living as well.

Feast of The First Martyrs

"Eighty-six years I have served him, and he never did me any wrong. How can I blaspheme my King who saved me?"`

These were the words of St.Polycarp (Bishop, Martyr), when he was asked to renounce his faith in Jesus and accept the Roman emperor, Caesar as his God. This was around 155 AD, almost 18 centuries ago. The first two odd centuries after Christ were the most horrifyingly testing for Christians. Ironically, these were also the most fruitful in terms of the spread of Christendom across the world. This was the glorious time when many men & women, both young & old even young boys and girls freely accepted death as a reward for accepting & proclaiming Jesus as their Saviour. These were the times when anyone, in the roman empire who dared to worship anything or anyone other than the roman emperor was sentenced to death or at least put through torture most gruesome. For the Romans, their emperor was God of the whole empire and anyone doing otherwise was charged with treason and (perhaps also) blasphemy and if the accused did not change his stance, he was eventually sentenced to death, mostly in the form crucifixion. Crucifixion, though, was not the only manner in which they were punished. The Romans are of course known for their barbaric ways in the battlefield. Public torture of Christians was not uncommon. Being burnt alive at stake, made to lie on sharp nails, fed to the lions & other wild beasts, scourged (to the extend of their internal anatomy becoming visible as far as the veins & arteries), were all done with an intention to make a spectacle out of them for both the common man's entertainment as also to pass on a message to him - As to what lay for him, if he also chose Christ as his God. The Church celebrated feast in honour of the 1st Martyrs (those who were persecuted by Nero in 64 AD) two days ago on 30th June.^

However, Christian Martydom was different from other acts of valour as may have been recorded in secular history books. It was, in fact, indeed so and much more than that. "It was all this and more, nothing less than a mystic communion and conformation with One who died for our sins that he might raise us eternally unto a life of holiness and everlasting joy."* Obviously, St.Polycarp as also other Martyrs were not only very much aware of this divine truth but it will not be wrong to say that this truth was ingrained in their hearts so deep that paying with their lives for the eternal Kingdom which the Lord had promised them was just too small a price to pay. It was exactly the same as they had read in the Gospel parable on finding the pearl of great price (Mattew 13:45-46). No price could have been greater than the value of what they were getting in return. A place in Heaven, alongside their Saviour. An eternity with the Lord at the price of a few more years in this world. If one knows it's true ramifications, that's a deal too hard to resist, I say.  Also, Martyrdom need not be always be achieved in the barbaric and bloody form as most of the martyrs have received. Martyrdom essentially involves martyrdom of the soul. It actually consists in giving up one's all, most especially self will, and offering it up to the Lord as a living & pleasing sacrifice. It consists of willfully sacrificing one's sinful self (along with all the fleeting pleasures, inordinate affections) for the Lord. An act which originates from a burning love for Him which in turn is nothing but a love response to His burning and all consuming love for me. The precondition here is that it should be an act of love and not out of compulsion. For our Lord never forces a soul to do anything.

Today, living in 21st century, the sacrifice of those martyrs of the 1st & 2nd century is almost forgotten by Christians, be it laity or clergy. Today the price which those early Christians paid seems too high a price for us to pay. Make no mistake, that is exactly the price which the Lord had set. Nothing more, nothing less and nothing else.

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 Ps : ^ By definition, Polycarp's Martyrdom will not come under this feast. His example has been taken only to expound the heart of martyrs in general.

       * Taken from 'Early Christian Fathers' by Cyril C Richardson

Pursuing Sanctification.......Within Four Walls Of My House

Last one month has been the most challenging one I can recollect in the recent past. A month ago, I had so many things buzzing in my head that I could just burst if I did not blog them. Then, things started going bad and then from bad to worse and then I hit the low of lows. First, it was the relapse of fever which my children had about a month earlier. They are in that age, when these things just keep repeating in a cyclical way (almost like commodity markets, or may be like our repetitive sins). Then, yours truly also fell sick for a couple of days and then Anna also was down for a day. And then schools re-opened after 2 months of vacation and it was nothing less than hysterical for the two of us right from waking kids up early in the morning & getting them ready for school and all the jazz which goes along with it. Obviously, my priorities as a husband and father took precedence over everything else (incl blogging) and I just had wait out the tough times. Incredible how the Lord carried both of us along during this testing phase. Mission also re-opened after a brief summer vacation and we had an intense pastoral visit from our head office in Rome immediately after vacation. Now we have settled into post vacation mode.

I experienced a very important phenomenon during this phase. Something which all saints have taught over many centuries...that its possible to achieve a union with the Lord irrespective of the calling a given person may be having in his life. Now when I say I 'experienced', I do not mean I experienced that perfect union with the Lord during this phase. What I mean is that, I experienced during this phase, in a renewed way, that all difficult situations in our life can lead to a deeper interior sanctification provided our response to the given situation is in sync with what The Lord's Holy Will says. Simply put, choosing to respond the way The Lord would have responded to that situation. And that mostly is, as St.John of The Cross teaches, choosing the more difficult of the many options which we may be having in front of us. And when we go for the option which is more purgative and offer the resulting purgation for salvation of souls, then our soul moves up a notch, so to speak, closer to that perfect union with Lord (Beatific Vision).

And the situations which bring us closer to us this deeper union with God are not out of the world situations. They are very much day to day situations which happen to us irrespective of our vocation. For a mother, it could be the pressures of raising young, dis-obedient, irresponsible children. The correct response in such a case would be to intercede for them and to continue to love them and correct them in love and most of all to bear with their transgressions patiently. For a wife, it could be dealing with an alcoholic husband. Similarly, for an office goer, it could be responding to injustice or corporate politics or office gossip in a most Christ like manner. All the above difficult yet potentially sanctifying situations, depending on the quality of our response to respective situation. For a husband and father like me, it is usually the household chores which I, if given a chance, would prefer not to do. It is also being patient with my wife at times when she does a mistake in her part of the work. But I realised that this slothful tendency needs to tackled head on, if I were to grow deeper in my life as a disciple and now I try to do as much as possible, the routine & mundane chores of our house. Not because I love doing it but exactly for the contrary reason...so that I can purge my dislike for them. I realise now, after being a husband for more than 8 years, that Charity needs to be exercised firstly & mostly toward my bride and then toward others. Isn't that what Christ does for His bride, the Church, even now? At the mission also, which thankfully gives a lot of scope for physical work as well, I try to do the physical work of cleaning etc. assigned to me to best of my abilities. Again, not because, I love doing it but because each of such sessions causes my soul to be purged a little bit. Interestingly, taking care of children, like bathing them, ironing their clothes, dropping/picking them up at/from school is not that difficult for me. This because, when I think of my children and my love for them while doing the tasks, they become easy. This again gives a key to the solution. It is love which makes all things possible, It is love conquers all things and makes things new. So every time I do something difficult without grumbling or cutting corners and accept the suffering/hardship/purgation which comes with it joyfully, I actually get that bit closer to Jesus.....The ultimate destination of my soul.

Will The London Whale Enter His Kingdom?

Untill a few weeks ago Bruno Iksil used to be a trader at the London office of JP Morgan Chase. He is known to be the man who has earned the dubious distinction of bringing a loss to the tune of  $2Billion (yes, that's 2000 Million Dollars!!). His fault, making bets on trades way beyond the risk he may have been allowed by the so called 'Risk Manual'. That's how he acquired the the name 'London Whale'. What got into him , no one knows for sure. For his colleagues knew him as a rather bearish trader. Greed perhaps. Perhaps acting on someone else's behalf.  Infact, It is said his operations had been earning the bank profits of about a $100 million every year for the last few years. Knowing well, the kind of bonuses people like investment bankers, traders make, he already would have become a  rich man quite sometime back.(He travels to work from Paris to London.....daily and works from home on Fridays. Some lifestyle!)

He was a ‘whale’ for sure. A big one at that. Placing bets on trades of humongous proportions and earning his employers 100s of millions of dollars in the 7-8 years he traded for them. Then what went wrong? Well, nothing much just that this last trade he made on behalf of JP Morgan back fired. He had been building on this trading position on this particular credit derivative for many months and somewhere across the Atlantic, a certain Mr.Boaz Weinstein, Hedge Fund manager working out of his Manhattan office, noticed certain aberrations in the trades or the index to which the particular credit default swap paper was linked. He pounced on the opportunity. He is a former ‘whale’ himself and for the 11 years he worked for Deutsche Bank, his transactions as trader made profits for the bank for 10 years of those 11years. Reports say, At 27, he was the youngest MD of the bank…..Ever. Later, he moved on to float his on Hedge Fund. All investment bankers &  capital market dealers are razor sharp, that’s the first mandatory requirement for this job, the second is the brains to make split second decision and third, the heart to absorb big (read huge) losses and this guy was a prodigy all the way. He and a few others went on buying as Iksil went on selling and after initially making notional losses when the particular derivative paper appreciated, they went for the kill. When the dust setlled JP Morgan had lost more than $2 billion dollars and someone asked a pertinent question that who was on the other end of the spectrum ie, if JP Morgan made a loss of $2 billion then who made the profit ?. The very likely answer is Mr.Weinstein & a few like him. This one deal surely made Boaz richer, some say, by many a hundred MILLION dollars.

Hmmmm... so where do Gospel readings during Mass yesterday & today fit into this story from the capital markets. Yesterday’s readings were Mark 10:17-27. (click to link to verses)  A very rich man came to Jesus and asked what must he do to be saved? That he had fulfilled all the requirements of the law as laid down in 10 commandments. The Lord’s straight forward answer was to sell all of his possessions and give it to the poor “and you will have treasure in heaven.” The rich man went back very sad for he couldn’t bear the thought of losing his possessions and the Lord told disciples that "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God". Today’s Gospel readings continue from where we left yesterday ie Mark 10:28-31. Peter upon seeing the rich man go back sad, asks the Lord what will happen to them (disciples) and to those like them who have left everything and everyone to follow Him (Jesus). To this Lord’s answer is again very crisp and clear. Of all who have left everything, there is no one who will not get a 100 fold in this life itself, along with persecution and finally eternal life in heaven. He promises all these 3 things together. As a christian I will have to take it as a package, either leave it all or take it all, persecutions & humiliations included. Wow!!

I am no one to pass judgment upon either Mr.Iksil or Mr.Weinstein as I do not know what their intentions were or where their heart is with respect to the pleasures of the world. Making money is not a sin and nor is being rich. If it weren’t so, Jesus wouldn’t have made the promise (of 100 fold returns) to Peter above. But holding on to your riches and not sharing it with needy is. The Bible says in the new testament by St. Paul in his first letter to Timothy the love money is root of all evil ( ie, not money itself) and also in the letter to Hebrews to be free of the love of money and the importance of being content. The rich man who came to Jesus went back sad as he loved his wealth too much and was not willing to let him go. It is indeed next to impossible for mortals like us to let go but then the Lord gives us hope in the end of yesterday's reading itself. "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God." So all I need to do is to make the effort to let go and at the same time trust Him to come and help me to let go of my attachments.

Personally, I am impressed by both Iksil & Weinstein. These are guys who were at the top of what they were doing and doing it to the best of their abilities except for the fact that they might have driven by sheer greed, in which case, I am not a fan of theirs. As of today, one has lost his position as a trader, some say he was dealing on behalf of the 'biggies' in the company. And the other is laughing all the way to the bank. But this happens. Especially in the crazy world of credit default swaps. I am sure they know this is just another phase in their careers. May be it is my past experience in the corporate world which makes me feel so about them. I worked with various mutual funds for 9 years before becoming a missionary, though I was not a dealer or a trader (Unfortunately or fortunately, I cannot say). Was never sharp enough to be one. Don’t know what I would have done with that (kind of) money.  But I am not at all for collateral damage falling upon common man. The small fish, as they say, has to bear so painfully, the brunt of these financial scams.

And I do know that the Lord has provided for my needs and has given me more than I have myself given away/up. So His promise is surely holding true. All I need to do is to continue to focus on Him rather than being distracted by the stuff around me that lure me away from Him. Pray that the rich & famous realise that life is short, there is an impending judgement and when they go 6 feet under packed in a wooden box or cremated, as the case may be, they are not going to take a dime of their billions along with them. There will be a day when the Lord sits down to, if I may use the financial term, square up His positions and I hope that both Iksil & Weinstein come out as winners then.

Happy Birthday, Mother Church

First Reading: Acts 2:1-11
Second Reading: 1 Corinthians 12:3-7, 12-13

Gospel: John 20:19-23 

It's 50 days since Resurrection (Easter Sunday ie). Today, the universal Church celebrates the feast of Pentecost, aka Pentecost Sunday. With the feast of Solemnity, as it is also known as, we also come to an end of Easter Season. In John 16:12-14 , The Lord had promised his disciples the gift of Holy Spirit, who will come to enlighten them (and also us) about things to come and about the mysteries of salvation which the Lord taught them during his earthly ministry. And sure enough, a week after (please note that last week we celebrated feast of Ascension) the Lord ascended into heaven, the Holy Spirit descended upon the disciples, who had gathered together in prayer in the upper room. The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity, the triune God-head that Christians worship, the first two being, God, The Father and God, The Son, Jesus Christ. Perhaps an elaborate description of Trinity is required here and will follow soon. (As little as I myself have, out of my limited knowledge, understood and as much as I can explain)

Coming back to today's feast. It's one of the principal feast of our Church and is also understood to be the birthday of the universal Church as from this day on, the apostles filled with the Holy Spirit were able to lanuch out to the world and proclaim salvation in the name of Jesus Christ. Although, certain theologians have come about with their points as to why it should not be called the birthday of Church. I do not wish to get into the nitty-gritty of it and would rather wish all of us who are a part mother Church, a happy feast. 

Let's now get into the beauty of today's liturgy. Today's Gospel was taken from John 20:19-23. It's taken from an incident immediately post Jesus' Resurrection. As the apostles are locked inside their room, fear having gripped them, for they thought that the Romans/Jews will be after them (now that the Lord was crucified & dead) the Lord enters their room, that is locked from inside, and stands before them. As a proof of His Resurrection, He shows them the marks of nails on His palms and says something which was much needed in that locked room, "Peace be with you."  The first sign of anyone claiming to be filled with or being led by the Holy Spirit is that peace is with/in him. Then He said to them "Receive the Holy Spirit."  The process of receiving the Holy Spirit, according to priest who gave the homily today, has two steps. The 1st step happened in the above Gospel passage, where the Lord asked to receive the Holy Spirit and they received it also. The 2nd step happens in first reading of the day which is taken from Acts 2:1-11 . In this reading, we see how the apostles filled with the spirit began to manifest the gifts of the Spirit and were able to speak in tongues other than the language they had otherwise learnt. 

The same principle applies to any christian. First step takes place during baptism, a sacrament through which we receive Holy Spirit and partake in the death & resurrection of the Lord. Baptism ensures that the baptised is a part of Christ's church and His Spirit indwells in him/her even though there may not be any physical manifestation of His presence. And the second step, that of use of the gifts of the Spirit and the resultant manifestation takes place at a time when we are ready for the manifestation of the gifts of the Spirit. The timing of this may differ from person to person according how much he yearns for the gifts of the Spirit and how much he seeks to use these gifts for the greater glory of God.

The last verse of today's Gospel  sheds light on sacrament of penance, I feel led to write about it & shall do so in the coming week. Starting tomorrow, we restart (from where we left before lenten season) following the calender for Ordinary time in our daily mass and also for Divine Office readings.

Of Kissing Lepers And Failing St.Francis...

Today was my tryst with inner self, one of those moments when I come face to face with my sin. 

After Mass, I went to spend some time in Adoration chapel. I must have been in prayer for not more than 15 minutes, when I noticed from the corner of my eyes that a man had knelt down (not very close to me)  a couple of feet away from where I sat (I was sitting in the front pew and he was outside it). I was distracted by his awkward limb movements and could just about gauge that he was not finding it easy to kneel/sit on the floor. I looked to my side and was a startled to see his face. He was a leper. The infection was not in an advanced stage nor was he as grotesque as some of them look, I thought and yet it invoked the strangest of feelings...predominantly a kind of fear, may be discomfort as well. And though he was at a 'safe' distance, I do not know why I felt like that. The immediate (selfish) thoughts which came into my head simultaneously were "how could such a man be allowed to enter the chapel?", "What is the guard, who sits at the Church gates, doing?", "after all the chapel needs to be kept clean". And then it struck me like a lightening from above. Here I was praying to the God who healed lepers and made them clean, and the same God ate with sinners, was merciful to prostitutes and tax collectors and then I see this leper from a distance inside the same God's house and start having all these weird feelings. I thought to myself, "By the way, how clean am I myself ?". I was reminded of the fact that I am as dirty on the inside as a leper may be on the outside (may be even dirtier). If Jesus were to have the same 'thoughts' as I had about that man, where would I stand? Perhaps, I wouldn't even be allowed to enter the threshold of the chapel. I came face to face with my wretchedness. It was not long before he left and I started reflecting on the story of St.Francis' encounter with leper. How his revulsion towards lepers changed completely after his encounter with the Lord. So much so, that one day he got down from his horse and kissed a leper, who hitherto made him run way in aversion. Actually, it was a bit shamefully embarrassing for me who has been so much influenced in so many areas by the life of this great man of God. I wonder what was the stuff which people like St.Francis and Mother Teresa were made of to reach such great heights in their pursuit of holiness. They are true giants of our faith, beacons in these times of darkness, who shed light of Jesus on us and lead us toward Him.  Two things were clear (though not for the first time, I must say). First, I need to pray more to have that Franciscan simplicity in dealing with various life situations and second, my conversion is far from complete.

                                                 St.Francis kissing his leper friend

For those who do not know this story from the life of this great saint, you may look up the story of  Francis & the Leper .

And He Ascended Into Heaven......So Shall We, One Day

                                                               

Today, The Church celebrates the great feast of Ascension. It marks the end of Lord Jesus' earthly stay in the world after His resurrection on Easter Sunday. The Paschal candle which was lit on Easter night vigil and continued to be lit during all Mass celebrations will not be lit after today's celebrations and in a week's time we will celebrate the feast of Pentecost (the day when The Holy Spirit came upon the disciples in the upper room). So why did the Lord stay back for 40 days after his resurrection? He could have said, 'Hi-hello' to His disciples and probably spent some 'quality time' with His beloved Mother and rushed back to heaven or may be he could have just appeared to them in dreams & visions only and thus passed on His message indirectly. But as per the Gospel narratives, He spent time with them physically. When He met them, walked with them, spoke to them, ate with them, He was truly present to them & with them, as in flesh & blood. Just like regular people like you and me are to each other. St Leo, The Great (Doctor of the Church & Pope, 5th Century) gave a sermon 1500 years ago on the importance of Ascension.The following is my understanding along with quotes by the Great Leo himself.

1. To Convince Us of IT's Truth : We all know that the apostles were all completely dejected by the death of their Master on Good Friday. The manner in which He was taken out by Jews and Romans could put the fear of death in the soul of many a brave heart (and these were ordinary people of Israel). So the Lord had to spend time with them, convince them that He was for real, that all that happened to Him was not something which was enforced on Him by anyone but He took it upon Himself. That it was all a part of the great plan of salvation which God, in His love, had manifested through life & death of Christ. Their 'grief laden' minds had to be loved out of mistrust and fear and into a greater & stronger faith. Most of all, it was not just for the sake of the apostles that He remained with but for all those who, in the centuries to come, would start believing in Jesus as the true Saviour but because of human weakness, wisdom of the world and even persecution, would lose hope and way. In effect, the apostles represented the whole of Church which would go through it's lows of sin, heresy & unbelief. Thus solace given to apostles meant consolation also for Church of later years ie, us.


2. To Give Critical Instructions/Ratify His Teachings : Now that He had risen, Jesus had to unravel the deep mysteries of our faith to the disciples, which hitherto, they had no inkling of. The mysteries were ratified and the divine truths were planted in their hearts. Disciples were illumined (as on the road to Emmaus) about how all the Scriptures pointed to Jesus Christ as the Saviour, how breaking of the Bread, the Eucharist ie, must play a role most crucial in their community worship. They had to be taught about the founding of the Church, the primacy of Peter over all disciples (Peter was made the caretaker of earthly flock & was earlier assigned the keys to the gates of heaven).

3. Resurrection of The Flesh Had To Proved : Of all the miracles that Jesus had done during His lifetime, both before and after Resurrection, the most important one was the Resurrection itself. The raising of Lazarus was also nothing but a prelude to The Resurrection. To the unbelieving Thomas, He showed the marks of nail on His palms. ".....He invites them to handle Him with careful scrutiny, because the traces of the nails and spear had been retained to heal the wounds of unbelieving hearts, so that not with wavering faith, but with most steadfast knowledge they might comprehend that the Nature which had been lain in the Sepulchre was to sit on God the Father's throne." All of these miracles point to the fact that not just the soul but even the body will be resurrected on the final day. Because He rose, we will also rise one day and ascend to the glorious highs which He rose to and calls us to be in.


4.The Privileges of Ascension Could Be Appropriated To Mankind : Such was the cathartic power of Ascension that disciples were no longer despondent that The Lord had once again left them. This time, unlike Good Friday, they went back praising & worshiping the Lord. They now knew that they had received much more from Ascension than whatever was taken away by Devil. By the end of the 40th day they were filled with an assurance that they will never be abandoned again. That the Lord will be with them till the end of time.

".....Since then Christ's Ascension is our uplifting, and the hope of the Body is raised, whither the glory of the Head has gone before, let us exult, dearly-beloved, with worthy joy and delight in the loyal paying of thanks. For today not only are we confirmed as possessors of paradise, but have also in Christ penetrated the heights of heaven, and have gained still greater things through Christ's unspeakable grace than we had lost through the devil's malice..."  (St.Leo, The Great)

Not How Much You Do, But How Much Love You Put In What You Do....

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing and sharing with others that is important. Try not to judge people. If you judge others then you are not giving love" .......Blessed Mother Teresa 

 Many weeks ago Puneet, one of my good old friend sent me this quote by Blessed Mother Teresa. He asked me what it meant. Such is the depth of her spirituality that to comprehensively explain her words is not going to be a very easy thing. To the world, she was a charity worker who did so much for the poorest of the poor. In reality she was much more than that. A woman committed to the call of Jesus to love ......to love God and to love creation. To love without any reservation. That takes some effort.
            We live in a world, where we are measured by how much we do. We are obsessed by size. Quantum takes precedence over everything else. It's the scale that matters. Corporates want to be bigger, larger and more powerful than the previous year. Some might ask at what cost is this so called power acquired, esp the human cost. But no one actually bothers to look into that. Regular people like you and me look forward to acquire bigger houses, bigger cars every few years. Similarly, parents are ready to shell out any amount to cater to every whim and fancy of their children so that they can be at the top of their peer group. It becomes a matter of pride for parents to ensure that the children have 'more & better' than their friends. The quality time spent to impart values is secondary, may be not even that. We can go on with such examples but in all this, the one crucial factor, which actually is the ultimate measuring criteria is if there is love behind that action. Mother was clearly following the teachings of St Paul (1st letter to Corinthians 13:1-7). Love is the final measure, the ultimate yardstick of all that we do. After all love conquers all things. Most beautiful and yet most difficult to implement.
                Blessed Teressa goes on to say that loving and judging cannot go together. The most pertinent of example being Jesus on the cross. If Jesus had judged us, He wouldn't have chosen to be crucified for our sins but because He loved us immeasurably & unconditionally, there was no condemnation or judgment and He freely chose the cross out of nothing but love. The same applies to us also, we cannot claim to love, if we judge and if we judge, we simply cannot love.  They both are mutually exclusive and do not go together. Plain & simple as it gets.

"This I command you, to love one another"

First Reading:Acts 1:15-17, 20-26
Gospel : John 15:9-17

We have entered the final week before the feast of Ascension of our Lord, which will be celebrated coming Sunday.

I do not know the reason, but the Gospel reading for today was same as yesterday (Sunday Mass). If anyone can enlighten me with the reason, I would be very grateful. The title of the post is the last verse of today's passage "This I command you, to love one another". It pretty much sums up 2nd of the two commandments which the Lord gave for us, the first being 'Love God with all your heart, mind and strength.'

Let’s start with the first reading from The Acts, though. The disciples are now 11 in number because Judas had committed suicide in self condemnation after betraying Jesus at the Garden of Gethsamane. They decide to take in one more member to bring the no. of disciples back to 12. And the criteria they set for themselves is very interesting and note worthy. The criterion for selection was that he must be a man who had been with Jesus right from the baptism of Jesus at the Jordan to the time He ascended from earth into heaven. In other words, the new 12th disciple should be someone,

-         Who knew Jesus in and out.

-         Knew and (beleived) the reason why Jesus came into this world.

-       Knew what the master went through (Baptism,Passion,Crucifixion,Death & Ressurrection) and experienced what the master went through, at least in some measure.

-         Who partook in the divine master’s very life. 

And I wondered If I were to apply these requirements to my life, ie, if I were to apply for the post of the 12^th disciple, how much of a chance do I have in getting the job. I think it will be what a corporate HR guy will call “a Fitment issue”. The 11 chose Mathias as the 12th disciple and today we also celebrate the feast of St.Mathias.

Coming to the Gospel, I found this faint, yet beautiful link to the 1^st reading. Verse # 15 (No longer do I call you servants………but friends for I have made known to you all that I have known from my father.) The Lord is forging a new kind of relationship with His disciples. No longer is it a slave-master relationship. Infact, it’s not even a God-believer relationship but God Himself now intends to take this relationship to a new level of intimacy. He boldly claims that His love for them (us) cannot be matched as he says in verse 13 “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” And He urges us to love one another as He has loved us. Now that's a pretty challenging ask. A point worth deeply meditating upon.

Mass Journal : True Disciple

Is knowing Him, the primary aim of my walk with Him, the reason for my ministry, the rule which I center my life around.

When Home Turned Into A Sick Bay !

For the last 2 weeks, one by one, each of my three kids have gone through their bout of cough and viral fever. First it was Clare, then as she started recovering, Clement, took the baton, if I may call it so and then as he started recovering, Baby Rez, picked it up, alsmost as if thinking why should I lag behind my older siblings in this area. And then if before she had recovered fully, yours truly picked it and today both me and Anna were down, actually she was feeling worse than me. Gosh, these two weeks have taken so much of my energy. Running hither and thither to doctor, medical tests etc, besides the usual stuff at the Mission. I think its been more that tiring and energy sapping than hectic. Home is no longer home when it turns into a sick bay, I tell you.

I have had such a lot of things to write about but now have lost taste for all of it (kinda literally). The only thing which I am glad about is that I do not have any more children (or wives) which effectively means no one else is 'due' for another round of sickness. So hopefully, I should be back to writing soon. That's it for now.

Mass Journal : Obedience To The Spirit & Fasting

"Am I listening to voice of Holy Spirit and acting under obedience to it. Do I give appropriate importance to fasting as a part of my walk with the Lord"

First Reading:Acts 12:24-13:5
Gospel: John 12:44-50

Mass Journal : Finding Meaning & Purpose In All Things

"Find meaning and purpose in whatever that comes my way and do it with all sincerity with utmost faith & diligence and without any doubt and complaining."


(Homily on the Feast of St.Joseph, The Worker)

Mass Journal : Hear His Voice

"Yearn to hear and follow His Voice diligently for He calls me by name"

(Jn 10:3)

E+23 : Life In Abundance

We have moved 23 days away from Easter. The season of Easter is in it's full swing. Personally for me, it has been season of spiritual growth. There is something about this season, which really makes me feel elated most of the times. 

Moving on to the liturgy of the day. The readings of the day are as follows.

First Reading: Acts 11:1-18
Gospel: John 10:1-10

  

Strangely the passage our Church has selected today is a prelude to yesterday's Gospel passage which was from John 10:11 to 18 and today we have the passage from verse 1 to 10. In a sense, today is the  prelude to what has already been read yesterday on Good Shepherd Sunday. I am not quite sure what is the reason for the choice of reason in such a way. The passage of Gospel has one of the first gospel verse that I ever memorised "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (Jesus in Jn 10:10). It's simple to memorise and the verse 10:10 is also hard to forget. (Unfortunately, on the whole, I have struggled with my ability to memorise scripture verses).

But the passage is very beautiful. St.John puts down the characteristics of a sheep (disciple) as laid down by the Lord. My Sheep hear my voice, they enter through Me and not through any other gate. If they enter through Me, they will be saved. For me the most challenging thing for any disciple (sheep) is to listen to the voice of the Master (Shepherd). Once we are able to discern His voice, the battle is almost won. Anyone who wishes to enter this gate is free to do so...anyone is operative word. Salvation is a free gift for the whole mankind and not just for one community. This was clearly brought out in yesterday's Gospel narrative. In the first reading, St.Peter also brings out the same message when he notices that the Holy Spirit has revealed the same truth about eating meat which were considered unclean hitherto to him as well as pagans and how when he spoke to them, the spirit fell upon them as well.

Salvation is for ALL...All one needs to be is be open.

Good Shepherd Sunday

The 4th Sunday of Easter season is celebrated as the Good Shepherd Sunday.

First Reading : Acts 4:8-12
Second Reading : 1 John 3:1-2
Gospel : John 10:11-18
 

All the readings point towards the love of God in Jesus Christ. The imagery which the Gospel especially tries to create is that of Jesus as the Good Shepherd. It is one of my favorite imagery and helps me to look at Lord as the one who protects, provides and guides me through my journey. It's so difficult for us to look at God as Father. A father who takes care of His children, a Shepherd who is ever ready to lay down His life for me. As St.John writes in this Gospel narrative in verse 12, He is not a hireling (a man who has been hired to take care of the the sheep) but instead takes his sheep as His own. A hired worker will not take the risk of being around when the wolf comes to hunt, but the good shepherd stays and fights for his sheep. That's our Lord for us. He does not abandon us , never thinks of forsaking us no matter how unfaithful a sheep, we end up being. To call Him my Shepherd, I also need to make myself His Sheep. This has to a conscious decision on my part knowing well that following Him means I will have to curb my dependence on self and grow in dependence on Him.....to lead me to greener pastures, to safer havens. The confidence that He will guide me to places which hitherto I did not fathom I could reach. It calls for unflinching, yet simple faith. Not easy when all our lives we have 'managed it on our own'. Not easy even when He is the one who is calling us personally to be His own. Something inside of us is always there to pull us back as it leads to that dreaded place called....'Complete Surrender'. 


To be a disciple is to follow the master completely, without reservations. In fact , St.John takes it to a new level...it is to be a child of God. It may also mean leaving the world ie, the things of the world and also some of the relationships of the world behind. This can be painful. But the Lord gives us hope of a gift which can only bestowed upon a disciple , more importantly , a son/daughter of God. The gift of being able to see Him face to and to know Him as He is. Oh what a gloriously beautiful prize to aspire for. (Ref 2nd reading).

In Search of Inner Child (in Dindigul) & The Curious Case of 3 Frogs

I have been inactive on the blog scene for more than a week. It was a pre-planned seminar which we attended with a lot of anticipation. It was on "Healing of Inner Child" conducted by Capuchin (OFM, Cap) priests at a place called Dindigul (TN). I was accompanied by two persons, Br.Loyola Dominic and Sr.Remedia Fernandes of CSXNRIs. CSXNRIs stands for Cloistered Sisters of Ex-NRIs (NRI stands for Non-Resident Indians). Br. Loyola had, as always, a single point agenda, namely to explore the 'famous'  local eateries. (Come to think about it, that was his inner child issue) and Sr.Fernandes, although she started in right earnest with utmost sincerity, it was not long before she followed Br.Loyola in his foodie ways. I confess, I was too hungry not to have joined them and take equal share of the blame in the crime (without any sense of remorse or guilt) .

The visit to this, almost nondescript, place called Dindigul was far from adventurous. Though, I must say we tried hard to make it so. When we reached there, Sr.Remedia pointed out if this place could be googled at all. Through out our stay, we did not lose any opportunity to pass remarks on this town and its 'small stature' ranging from jocular to downright condescending. It may not be on a backpacker's map or on the menu of a high end travel services company but I  must say that the town was not all that bad. The roads were better than Bangalore at most places. The town  area had everything which one needs to have a decent life. There was even a mall (stop blinking, its true). Because of  scorching hot climate, we slept on the terrace along with other participants and the night sky was  just amazing. Its ages since I saw so many stars (hundreds of them) up there. the air was clean and fresh and the local people least intruding or annoying (unlike city folks). The day the seminar ended, we hired a cab and went up one of the hills, which  surround the town.  I tried to strike a conversation with Cabbie so that I could share the love of Christ with him but the man was a million miles away from this 'foreign language' called English. Hindi for him, of course, was like  from a galaxy far away from our own milky way. After initial 'pleasantries' , he asked me quite confidently, "where your country?". I thought 'I mean don't I even look an Indian'. Thoroughly offended, I  allowed him to drive through the hair-pin bends and did not bother him again. Its not his fault, He will obviously prefer his local language it was I who was handicapped in reaching out to him. The place he drove us to is called Sirumalai and that was one of the high points of our visit. The hills are as high as about 1700ft above sea level  (or so our learned cabbie  informed us) and this is where it got the most adventurous. We were drove past 18 hair pin bends and many a cloud to reach the summit. Remedia was the happiest as she got to 'eat' the clouds (For some people old habits die hard). This, inspite of trying the best food which this place is famous for viz, biriyani at the (locally) famous Venu Restaurant. We later on tried the other famous biriyani joint Thalapakati Biriyani also. In my opinion, former was much better than the latter, though it is Thalapakatti which is more famous. Must say, we ate like ravenous hogs.

After reaching back home, I thought of checking this place on the internet and (eureka, eureka!! ), the search engine found it with consummate ease. Not only was Dindigul on Google, it had a dedicated page on Wikipedia also. So much for our general knowledge. I was born & brought up in the capital city of New Delhi, and now lived in another big city, Bangalore. Sr.Remedia was NRI in Gulf for a long time (hence the  choice of congregation) before moving to Bangalore and Dominic also hails from the metropolitan city of Chennai. So all of us had the big city 'pomplex' , if I may call it that. Guess what Thalapakatti Biriyani had its own portal also and so did Venu Restaurant ( www.dindigulvenubiriyani.com ). Hence proved that broadband internet had arrived at Dindigul much before 3 ignorant city bred 'frogs' landed there for a week. In Hindi, there is this term 'Kuaen Ka Maindak' (Frog living in a Well). A frog living in a Well thinks that the Well which he inhabits is the biggest, the most sophisticated place in the world simply because he has never been able to go to (or bothered to check) the world outside. We were like three frogs embarking on a journey to a place,  we had not much of an idea about and nor did we bother to learn about. I had often thought to myself how would life be in small & sleepy towns. Infact one of my dreams has always been to drive cross country with my family to small locations and to live out of makeshift tents and do unplanned explorations with my son.Well, surely some day....Amen to that!

As for the seminar, it did not have a whole lot to offer us and by the time we came back we had more questions than before. We have been in the Charismatic Renewal for so many years that The Lord has been constantly doing His healing work in us in most beautiful of ways, ways that are beyond  reason and have helped us to grow in Love for Him and neighbor. This program was all about psychology and was more to do with cause and effect of / on human behavior and how to manage them. At the same, though I can't speak for the other two but I  did, actually pick up many psychological concepts which will help me in dealing with myself and also in my ministry work.

Mass Journal : Keep His House Holy

"Cultivate a deep reverence for His house"


(Refer John 2:12 onwards)

Mass Journal : Raise The Bar

"Trust God to take me higher than what I want myself to be"

(Day's homily)

First Reading: Acts 5:34-42
Gospel: John 6:1-15

Mass Journal : Time To Expand My Expectations of Him

Recently, I heard this talk by Mathew Kelly. In it he suggests the idea of making a Mass Journal where in we jot down one most important point which struck me during Holy Mass. It could be from the readings, Gospel or the even the homily. So from today on, I will write one thing (max two) which caught my attention and  thus required me to work on a specific matter in my life.


"Expect Jesus to do much bigger things in my life. Time to expand my expectations of Him. Time to throw away my pocket version of God and start accepting Him as He really is in His true stature"



(Homily by Fr.Wilson, OFM Cap, Dindigul)



First Reading:Acts 5:27-33
Gospel: John 3:31-36

E+11: For God So Loved The World...

We have moved out of the Easter octave and are now in the second week of the season , 11 days after Easter. The  readings for daily mass continue to be from The Acts. Today the verses being  Acts 5:17-26 . The Gospel is from John 3:16-21 .  

Lets start with the Gospel passage. It starts with John 3:16 is one of the central messages of Christianity. It goes like this... "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life".... Everything else in our faith goes around this central theme which this verse attempts to bring to believers as well as non believers. As the passage goes, the apostle John, who was one of the original twelve apostles of Christ formed persoanlly by Christ Himself, describes Christ as the Light of the world and the goes on to exhort people to be in Light. It brings out the mercy of God in Christ. Verse 17 says Christ came not to condemn the world but that it might be saved. It must understood that  it is the love and mercy for God which comes out in the Christ. No where does he mention a list of do's or dont's. Just one (mandatory) requirement 'Believe and be saved'. Believe in Christ and start your jouney towards your salvation. Many Christians to this day believe that it is their efforts which will earn their salvation. Salvation is a free gift from God to the whole world. If he were to start finding faults, who could escape His judgment? None. So John's verse brings a lot of hope and encouragement for all those who, weighed down by their sins, consider themselves not worthy of God's love or atonement. Their is no sin under the sin which the Cross of Christ has not had victory over and no sinner for whom the Lord has not loved or did not shed His precious blood  for. The fact is He came only for the sinners like me & you and not for the self righteous. For the self righteous continue to believe that they are 'ok'  and directly or indirectly reject the need for a Saviour , reject Christ and thus automatically put themselves out of God's umbrella of divine mercy. And so John ends this passage stating that those who do not want to be in Light, prefer to stay in darkness and thus lose out on the  joy and the freedom of being in Light. Conversely, those who chose (it's a choice one has to make) to walk in light, the Lord ensures that their deeds are well 'wrought' (made or done in a careful or decorative way). That's His love for His people.

In first reading from The Acts (Acts 5:17-26), the apostles are arrested for proclaiming the Gospel of Christ. However, true to what today's Gospel passage above teaches, they are saved miraculously from the prison and come out of the prison. Once the guards realise that they are preaching at the temple (Jewish Synagogue), they go and bring them back again but this time, for the fear of the crowd, they ensure that they are not hurt in anyway. Thus we also find there is a link between the Gospel  & the other reading (those who believe shall be saved and their deeds shall be wrought by the Lord)..... There is undoubtedly a higher form of wisdom in the way readings and Gospel passages have been picked for daily liturgy by Church.

Of Watching Titanic in 3D With Kids & Signs Of Ageing....

Today I turn 36. Well & truly into middle age, I say. Today is also the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the 'unsinkable' Titanic. oh that great ship, which everybody thought was unsinkable. I remember watching it in 2D back in either in 1997 or 98 (depending on when it was released in India)

I first heard about the Titanic, the ship ie,  from a friend in our neighborbood back in Delhi about 22-23 years ago. He had apparently seen the first movie made on The Titanic (in black & white made back in the 50s or  so). He was able to capture my attention with his vivid description of the events that took place. I was 12 or 13 and just wondered how big the ship must have been and would shudder to imagine what all the passengers would have gone through that fateful night. Of course, since I had no other means to verify the truth of the story (mind you ,internet was still unheard of at that time), I just lapped it up. Later, we had a chapter on Titanic in our English language paper either in XIth or XIIth grade and that's when it all came alive. Ah, nothing like a well written story, I say. More so, if  it's a true and tragic one.....................

Cut to present...Early last week on Easter Monday to be precise, I took my children for the 3D version of Titanic, which has been recently released world wide. I had never seen a movie in 3D and my children never seen Titanic. I had often told them stories about 'the big ship' which hit a 'Big ice berg' and sank and went under the ocean and they just couldn't hold their excitement about going for the movie. My son, Clement (who turned 5 on tuesday), has always been into big machines. Cranes, earth movers, space ships, locomotive trains and the like. These are things which give him a high. He would always ask Sweet, innocent yet pertinent questions such as "How big can a ship be, to be called unsinkable?" or "How big and powerful can an ice berg be to sink an unsinkable ship"....I could see "WOW!!" in his eyes everytime he heard the story and I couldn't possibly complain  as I had the same questions, when I was 12 and he was barely 5. My Clare(6+) had been a bundle of excitement ever since, I told them we would go for this movie about a week earlier. One day she woke up and confessed, she was getting dreams of Titanic in her sleep for the last 2 days.

Well, finally the D-day arrived and both of them were up early, finished their breakfast in a jiffy ,as if their life depended on it (normally breakfast on holidays takes anything  from 45-min to 1 hour) and  were at their best behavior. And off we went for the movies, which is not very far, just about 15-20 min walk from our place. My main area of interest was the 3D effect, which I did not find particularly impressive. (Sorry, Mr.Cameron, I was never a tech-savvy person anyway). As for the ship, it projected the same grandeur and majesty which it had 14 odd years ago (obviously!!). Clemo yelled "Oh ship, Dada", Clare exclaimed "How big!!". Clemo was not very interested in seeing through his 3D glasses, though I ensured he had them on all through the movie. All he wanted to see was the big iceberg and the 'big collision'. And he was getting restless in the first half as the romance between Jack & Rose was blooming. Then it happenned, "Ice berg right ahead" shouted the man on the watch tower and Clement yelled "Wo raha" in Hindi, (there it is)  and then the collision. Immediately after the collision , it was the intermission and as lights came on and people started to move off their seats to take a break, thinking that movie was over Clare asked me if  we will go home now. I told her its just half the movie, the breaking of the ship right in the midle and the sinking part is still  left. And in the second half both of them watched with rapt attention....giving out loud exclamations at appropriate juncture.

   I went down the memory lane and I remembered three dialogues captured my whole imagination when I watched it first time. First, "You jump, I jump" then "I am too involved in this now" told by Jack in his conversation with Rose and lastly, "I promise, I won't let go" (Rose telling Jack who is already dead due to freezing water hanging by the wooden plank, possibly a door and then letting lose his hold on her hand 'allowing' him to drown away into the ocean). These lines had a very strong effect on me back then but now only the 3rd dialogue had a similar impact, if not the same. The first two dialogues by Jack (Leonardo Di Caprio) are said in a scene very early in the movie when Rose (Kate Winslet) is about to kill herself by jumping of the stern of the ship. I was like, 'Man,that's a hero for me'. Why does he say he wants to do that? "because he is too involved" and I would have said 'that's a brave heart. A man who is ready to put everything in line to save a stranger woman.' But things have changed, when I saw those scenes again, I just told myself, what a foolish thing to say to woman that you will jump after her. A woman who, as it is, has stopped fighting her fight anyway. and then where's the sense jumping after her. Now, I have a wife and 3 children at home to look after (besides, I still do not know how to swim). Then, I had dreams in my eyes and a romantic at heart. I still have dreams , dreams of a different kind but romantic, well that's something I do not miss being anymore. Signs of ageing, I guess. I am middle aged now........well & truly.

As for the last lines said by Rose,I was struck this time also by "I promise, I won't let go". A life boat had come back to carry the survivors and she had to catch that to survive.She had to let go of Jack and get to the boat and she fulfills the promise she had made to Jack that she will 'make her life count'. Fair enough, I said. But back then it was painful to see jack slip down into the ocean, though it did make some sense then too, it did all the more now. Yes, a middle aged man thinks differently :)

The movie ended and my Clemo ecstatically yelled out in the hall itself "maza aagaya!!" (great fun!!). Of course, post movie, new questions and 'doubts' have surfaced in their big heads especially Clare is the one who asks a lot of smart questions. "Those who did not make it to the life boats, will they be still there in the ocean or inside of a whale's or shark's tummy?" (they got this from the story of Jonnah). "How come the fish, sharks etc did not eat away the ship that is still under water?" and the funniest "Is Rose still alive" , Clemo would like to investigate, where is that 'big ice berg' which sunk the ship. "Is it still there, dada ?", he asks innocently. One thing is for sure, the effect of Titanic will not go away just like that and the Titanic will continue to stay afloat in their hearts............"and the heart will go on & ooooooooon...."