Will The London Whale Enter His Kingdom?

Untill a few weeks ago Bruno Iksil used to be a trader at the London office of JP Morgan Chase. He is known to be the man who has earned the dubious distinction of bringing a loss to the tune of  $2Billion (yes, that's 2000 Million Dollars!!). His fault, making bets on trades way beyond the risk he may have been allowed by the so called 'Risk Manual'. That's how he acquired the the name 'London Whale'. What got into him , no one knows for sure. For his colleagues knew him as a rather bearish trader. Greed perhaps. Perhaps acting on someone else's behalf.  Infact, It is said his operations had been earning the bank profits of about a $100 million every year for the last few years. Knowing well, the kind of bonuses people like investment bankers, traders make, he already would have become a  rich man quite sometime back.(He travels to work from Paris to London.....daily and works from home on Fridays. Some lifestyle!)

He was a ‘whale’ for sure. A big one at that. Placing bets on trades of humongous proportions and earning his employers 100s of millions of dollars in the 7-8 years he traded for them. Then what went wrong? Well, nothing much just that this last trade he made on behalf of JP Morgan back fired. He had been building on this trading position on this particular credit derivative for many months and somewhere across the Atlantic, a certain Mr.Boaz Weinstein, Hedge Fund manager working out of his Manhattan office, noticed certain aberrations in the trades or the index to which the particular credit default swap paper was linked. He pounced on the opportunity. He is a former ‘whale’ himself and for the 11 years he worked for Deutsche Bank, his transactions as trader made profits for the bank for 10 years of those 11years. Reports say, At 27, he was the youngest MD of the bank…..Ever. Later, he moved on to float his on Hedge Fund. All investment bankers &  capital market dealers are razor sharp, that’s the first mandatory requirement for this job, the second is the brains to make split second decision and third, the heart to absorb big (read huge) losses and this guy was a prodigy all the way. He and a few others went on buying as Iksil went on selling and after initially making notional losses when the particular derivative paper appreciated, they went for the kill. When the dust setlled JP Morgan had lost more than $2 billion dollars and someone asked a pertinent question that who was on the other end of the spectrum ie, if JP Morgan made a loss of $2 billion then who made the profit ?. The very likely answer is Mr.Weinstein & a few like him. This one deal surely made Boaz richer, some say, by many a hundred MILLION dollars.

Hmmmm... so where do Gospel readings during Mass yesterday & today fit into this story from the capital markets. Yesterday’s readings were Mark 10:17-27. (click to link to verses)  A very rich man came to Jesus and asked what must he do to be saved? That he had fulfilled all the requirements of the law as laid down in 10 commandments. The Lord’s straight forward answer was to sell all of his possessions and give it to the poor “and you will have treasure in heaven.” The rich man went back very sad for he couldn’t bear the thought of losing his possessions and the Lord told disciples that "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God". Today’s Gospel readings continue from where we left yesterday ie Mark 10:28-31. Peter upon seeing the rich man go back sad, asks the Lord what will happen to them (disciples) and to those like them who have left everything and everyone to follow Him (Jesus). To this Lord’s answer is again very crisp and clear. Of all who have left everything, there is no one who will not get a 100 fold in this life itself, along with persecution and finally eternal life in heaven. He promises all these 3 things together. As a christian I will have to take it as a package, either leave it all or take it all, persecutions & humiliations included. Wow!!

I am no one to pass judgment upon either Mr.Iksil or Mr.Weinstein as I do not know what their intentions were or where their heart is with respect to the pleasures of the world. Making money is not a sin and nor is being rich. If it weren’t so, Jesus wouldn’t have made the promise (of 100 fold returns) to Peter above. But holding on to your riches and not sharing it with needy is. The Bible says in the new testament by St. Paul in his first letter to Timothy the love money is root of all evil ( ie, not money itself) and also in the letter to Hebrews to be free of the love of money and the importance of being content. The rich man who came to Jesus went back sad as he loved his wealth too much and was not willing to let him go. It is indeed next to impossible for mortals like us to let go but then the Lord gives us hope in the end of yesterday's reading itself. "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God." So all I need to do is to make the effort to let go and at the same time trust Him to come and help me to let go of my attachments.

Personally, I am impressed by both Iksil & Weinstein. These are guys who were at the top of what they were doing and doing it to the best of their abilities except for the fact that they might have driven by sheer greed, in which case, I am not a fan of theirs. As of today, one has lost his position as a trader, some say he was dealing on behalf of the 'biggies' in the company. And the other is laughing all the way to the bank. But this happens. Especially in the crazy world of credit default swaps. I am sure they know this is just another phase in their careers. May be it is my past experience in the corporate world which makes me feel so about them. I worked with various mutual funds for 9 years before becoming a missionary, though I was not a dealer or a trader (Unfortunately or fortunately, I cannot say). Was never sharp enough to be one. Don’t know what I would have done with that (kind of) money.  But I am not at all for collateral damage falling upon common man. The small fish, as they say, has to bear so painfully, the brunt of these financial scams.

And I do know that the Lord has provided for my needs and has given me more than I have myself given away/up. So His promise is surely holding true. All I need to do is to continue to focus on Him rather than being distracted by the stuff around me that lure me away from Him. Pray that the rich & famous realise that life is short, there is an impending judgement and when they go 6 feet under packed in a wooden box or cremated, as the case may be, they are not going to take a dime of their billions along with them. There will be a day when the Lord sits down to, if I may use the financial term, square up His positions and I hope that both Iksil & Weinstein come out as winners then.

Happy Birthday, Mother Church

First Reading: Acts 2:1-11
Second Reading: 1 Corinthians 12:3-7, 12-13

Gospel: John 20:19-23 

It's 50 days since Resurrection (Easter Sunday ie). Today, the universal Church celebrates the feast of Pentecost, aka Pentecost Sunday. With the feast of Solemnity, as it is also known as, we also come to an end of Easter Season. In John 16:12-14 , The Lord had promised his disciples the gift of Holy Spirit, who will come to enlighten them (and also us) about things to come and about the mysteries of salvation which the Lord taught them during his earthly ministry. And sure enough, a week after (please note that last week we celebrated feast of Ascension) the Lord ascended into heaven, the Holy Spirit descended upon the disciples, who had gathered together in prayer in the upper room. The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity, the triune God-head that Christians worship, the first two being, God, The Father and God, The Son, Jesus Christ. Perhaps an elaborate description of Trinity is required here and will follow soon. (As little as I myself have, out of my limited knowledge, understood and as much as I can explain)

Coming back to today's feast. It's one of the principal feast of our Church and is also understood to be the birthday of the universal Church as from this day on, the apostles filled with the Holy Spirit were able to lanuch out to the world and proclaim salvation in the name of Jesus Christ. Although, certain theologians have come about with their points as to why it should not be called the birthday of Church. I do not wish to get into the nitty-gritty of it and would rather wish all of us who are a part mother Church, a happy feast. 

Let's now get into the beauty of today's liturgy. Today's Gospel was taken from John 20:19-23. It's taken from an incident immediately post Jesus' Resurrection. As the apostles are locked inside their room, fear having gripped them, for they thought that the Romans/Jews will be after them (now that the Lord was crucified & dead) the Lord enters their room, that is locked from inside, and stands before them. As a proof of His Resurrection, He shows them the marks of nails on His palms and says something which was much needed in that locked room, "Peace be with you."  The first sign of anyone claiming to be filled with or being led by the Holy Spirit is that peace is with/in him. Then He said to them "Receive the Holy Spirit."  The process of receiving the Holy Spirit, according to priest who gave the homily today, has two steps. The 1st step happened in the above Gospel passage, where the Lord asked to receive the Holy Spirit and they received it also. The 2nd step happens in first reading of the day which is taken from Acts 2:1-11 . In this reading, we see how the apostles filled with the spirit began to manifest the gifts of the Spirit and were able to speak in tongues other than the language they had otherwise learnt. 

The same principle applies to any christian. First step takes place during baptism, a sacrament through which we receive Holy Spirit and partake in the death & resurrection of the Lord. Baptism ensures that the baptised is a part of Christ's church and His Spirit indwells in him/her even though there may not be any physical manifestation of His presence. And the second step, that of use of the gifts of the Spirit and the resultant manifestation takes place at a time when we are ready for the manifestation of the gifts of the Spirit. The timing of this may differ from person to person according how much he yearns for the gifts of the Spirit and how much he seeks to use these gifts for the greater glory of God.

The last verse of today's Gospel  sheds light on sacrament of penance, I feel led to write about it & shall do so in the coming week. Starting tomorrow, we restart (from where we left before lenten season) following the calender for Ordinary time in our daily mass and also for Divine Office readings.

Of Kissing Lepers And Failing St.Francis...

Today was my tryst with inner self, one of those moments when I come face to face with my sin. 

After Mass, I went to spend some time in Adoration chapel. I must have been in prayer for not more than 15 minutes, when I noticed from the corner of my eyes that a man had knelt down (not very close to me)  a couple of feet away from where I sat (I was sitting in the front pew and he was outside it). I was distracted by his awkward limb movements and could just about gauge that he was not finding it easy to kneel/sit on the floor. I looked to my side and was a startled to see his face. He was a leper. The infection was not in an advanced stage nor was he as grotesque as some of them look, I thought and yet it invoked the strangest of feelings...predominantly a kind of fear, may be discomfort as well. And though he was at a 'safe' distance, I do not know why I felt like that. The immediate (selfish) thoughts which came into my head simultaneously were "how could such a man be allowed to enter the chapel?", "What is the guard, who sits at the Church gates, doing?", "after all the chapel needs to be kept clean". And then it struck me like a lightening from above. Here I was praying to the God who healed lepers and made them clean, and the same God ate with sinners, was merciful to prostitutes and tax collectors and then I see this leper from a distance inside the same God's house and start having all these weird feelings. I thought to myself, "By the way, how clean am I myself ?". I was reminded of the fact that I am as dirty on the inside as a leper may be on the outside (may be even dirtier). If Jesus were to have the same 'thoughts' as I had about that man, where would I stand? Perhaps, I wouldn't even be allowed to enter the threshold of the chapel. I came face to face with my wretchedness. It was not long before he left and I started reflecting on the story of St.Francis' encounter with leper. How his revulsion towards lepers changed completely after his encounter with the Lord. So much so, that one day he got down from his horse and kissed a leper, who hitherto made him run way in aversion. Actually, it was a bit shamefully embarrassing for me who has been so much influenced in so many areas by the life of this great man of God. I wonder what was the stuff which people like St.Francis and Mother Teresa were made of to reach such great heights in their pursuit of holiness. They are true giants of our faith, beacons in these times of darkness, who shed light of Jesus on us and lead us toward Him.  Two things were clear (though not for the first time, I must say). First, I need to pray more to have that Franciscan simplicity in dealing with various life situations and second, my conversion is far from complete.

                                                 St.Francis kissing his leper friend

For those who do not know this story from the life of this great saint, you may look up the story of  Francis & the Leper .

And He Ascended Into Heaven......So Shall We, One Day

                                                               

Today, The Church celebrates the great feast of Ascension. It marks the end of Lord Jesus' earthly stay in the world after His resurrection on Easter Sunday. The Paschal candle which was lit on Easter night vigil and continued to be lit during all Mass celebrations will not be lit after today's celebrations and in a week's time we will celebrate the feast of Pentecost (the day when The Holy Spirit came upon the disciples in the upper room). So why did the Lord stay back for 40 days after his resurrection? He could have said, 'Hi-hello' to His disciples and probably spent some 'quality time' with His beloved Mother and rushed back to heaven or may be he could have just appeared to them in dreams & visions only and thus passed on His message indirectly. But as per the Gospel narratives, He spent time with them physically. When He met them, walked with them, spoke to them, ate with them, He was truly present to them & with them, as in flesh & blood. Just like regular people like you and me are to each other. St Leo, The Great (Doctor of the Church & Pope, 5th Century) gave a sermon 1500 years ago on the importance of Ascension.The following is my understanding along with quotes by the Great Leo himself.

1. To Convince Us of IT's Truth : We all know that the apostles were all completely dejected by the death of their Master on Good Friday. The manner in which He was taken out by Jews and Romans could put the fear of death in the soul of many a brave heart (and these were ordinary people of Israel). So the Lord had to spend time with them, convince them that He was for real, that all that happened to Him was not something which was enforced on Him by anyone but He took it upon Himself. That it was all a part of the great plan of salvation which God, in His love, had manifested through life & death of Christ. Their 'grief laden' minds had to be loved out of mistrust and fear and into a greater & stronger faith. Most of all, it was not just for the sake of the apostles that He remained with but for all those who, in the centuries to come, would start believing in Jesus as the true Saviour but because of human weakness, wisdom of the world and even persecution, would lose hope and way. In effect, the apostles represented the whole of Church which would go through it's lows of sin, heresy & unbelief. Thus solace given to apostles meant consolation also for Church of later years ie, us.


2. To Give Critical Instructions/Ratify His Teachings : Now that He had risen, Jesus had to unravel the deep mysteries of our faith to the disciples, which hitherto, they had no inkling of. The mysteries were ratified and the divine truths were planted in their hearts. Disciples were illumined (as on the road to Emmaus) about how all the Scriptures pointed to Jesus Christ as the Saviour, how breaking of the Bread, the Eucharist ie, must play a role most crucial in their community worship. They had to be taught about the founding of the Church, the primacy of Peter over all disciples (Peter was made the caretaker of earthly flock & was earlier assigned the keys to the gates of heaven).

3. Resurrection of The Flesh Had To Proved : Of all the miracles that Jesus had done during His lifetime, both before and after Resurrection, the most important one was the Resurrection itself. The raising of Lazarus was also nothing but a prelude to The Resurrection. To the unbelieving Thomas, He showed the marks of nail on His palms. ".....He invites them to handle Him with careful scrutiny, because the traces of the nails and spear had been retained to heal the wounds of unbelieving hearts, so that not with wavering faith, but with most steadfast knowledge they might comprehend that the Nature which had been lain in the Sepulchre was to sit on God the Father's throne." All of these miracles point to the fact that not just the soul but even the body will be resurrected on the final day. Because He rose, we will also rise one day and ascend to the glorious highs which He rose to and calls us to be in.


4.The Privileges of Ascension Could Be Appropriated To Mankind : Such was the cathartic power of Ascension that disciples were no longer despondent that The Lord had once again left them. This time, unlike Good Friday, they went back praising & worshiping the Lord. They now knew that they had received much more from Ascension than whatever was taken away by Devil. By the end of the 40th day they were filled with an assurance that they will never be abandoned again. That the Lord will be with them till the end of time.

".....Since then Christ's Ascension is our uplifting, and the hope of the Body is raised, whither the glory of the Head has gone before, let us exult, dearly-beloved, with worthy joy and delight in the loyal paying of thanks. For today not only are we confirmed as possessors of paradise, but have also in Christ penetrated the heights of heaven, and have gained still greater things through Christ's unspeakable grace than we had lost through the devil's malice..."  (St.Leo, The Great)

Not How Much You Do, But How Much Love You Put In What You Do....

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing and sharing with others that is important. Try not to judge people. If you judge others then you are not giving love" .......Blessed Mother Teresa 

 Many weeks ago Puneet, one of my good old friend sent me this quote by Blessed Mother Teresa. He asked me what it meant. Such is the depth of her spirituality that to comprehensively explain her words is not going to be a very easy thing. To the world, she was a charity worker who did so much for the poorest of the poor. In reality she was much more than that. A woman committed to the call of Jesus to love ......to love God and to love creation. To love without any reservation. That takes some effort.
            We live in a world, where we are measured by how much we do. We are obsessed by size. Quantum takes precedence over everything else. It's the scale that matters. Corporates want to be bigger, larger and more powerful than the previous year. Some might ask at what cost is this so called power acquired, esp the human cost. But no one actually bothers to look into that. Regular people like you and me look forward to acquire bigger houses, bigger cars every few years. Similarly, parents are ready to shell out any amount to cater to every whim and fancy of their children so that they can be at the top of their peer group. It becomes a matter of pride for parents to ensure that the children have 'more & better' than their friends. The quality time spent to impart values is secondary, may be not even that. We can go on with such examples but in all this, the one crucial factor, which actually is the ultimate measuring criteria is if there is love behind that action. Mother was clearly following the teachings of St Paul (1st letter to Corinthians 13:1-7). Love is the final measure, the ultimate yardstick of all that we do. After all love conquers all things. Most beautiful and yet most difficult to implement.
                Blessed Teressa goes on to say that loving and judging cannot go together. The most pertinent of example being Jesus on the cross. If Jesus had judged us, He wouldn't have chosen to be crucified for our sins but because He loved us immeasurably & unconditionally, there was no condemnation or judgment and He freely chose the cross out of nothing but love. The same applies to us also, we cannot claim to love, if we judge and if we judge, we simply cannot love.  They both are mutually exclusive and do not go together. Plain & simple as it gets.

"This I command you, to love one another"

First Reading:Acts 1:15-17, 20-26
Gospel : John 15:9-17

We have entered the final week before the feast of Ascension of our Lord, which will be celebrated coming Sunday.

I do not know the reason, but the Gospel reading for today was same as yesterday (Sunday Mass). If anyone can enlighten me with the reason, I would be very grateful. The title of the post is the last verse of today's passage "This I command you, to love one another". It pretty much sums up 2nd of the two commandments which the Lord gave for us, the first being 'Love God with all your heart, mind and strength.'

Let’s start with the first reading from The Acts, though. The disciples are now 11 in number because Judas had committed suicide in self condemnation after betraying Jesus at the Garden of Gethsamane. They decide to take in one more member to bring the no. of disciples back to 12. And the criteria they set for themselves is very interesting and note worthy. The criterion for selection was that he must be a man who had been with Jesus right from the baptism of Jesus at the Jordan to the time He ascended from earth into heaven. In other words, the new 12th disciple should be someone,

-         Who knew Jesus in and out.

-         Knew and (beleived) the reason why Jesus came into this world.

-       Knew what the master went through (Baptism,Passion,Crucifixion,Death & Ressurrection) and experienced what the master went through, at least in some measure.

-         Who partook in the divine master’s very life. 

And I wondered If I were to apply these requirements to my life, ie, if I were to apply for the post of the 12^th disciple, how much of a chance do I have in getting the job. I think it will be what a corporate HR guy will call “a Fitment issue”. The 11 chose Mathias as the 12th disciple and today we also celebrate the feast of St.Mathias.

Coming to the Gospel, I found this faint, yet beautiful link to the 1^st reading. Verse # 15 (No longer do I call you servants………but friends for I have made known to you all that I have known from my father.) The Lord is forging a new kind of relationship with His disciples. No longer is it a slave-master relationship. Infact, it’s not even a God-believer relationship but God Himself now intends to take this relationship to a new level of intimacy. He boldly claims that His love for them (us) cannot be matched as he says in verse 13 “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” And He urges us to love one another as He has loved us. Now that's a pretty challenging ask. A point worth deeply meditating upon.

Mass Journal : True Disciple

Is knowing Him, the primary aim of my walk with Him, the reason for my ministry, the rule which I center my life around.

When Home Turned Into A Sick Bay !

For the last 2 weeks, one by one, each of my three kids have gone through their bout of cough and viral fever. First it was Clare, then as she started recovering, Clement, took the baton, if I may call it so and then as he started recovering, Baby Rez, picked it up, alsmost as if thinking why should I lag behind my older siblings in this area. And then if before she had recovered fully, yours truly picked it and today both me and Anna were down, actually she was feeling worse than me. Gosh, these two weeks have taken so much of my energy. Running hither and thither to doctor, medical tests etc, besides the usual stuff at the Mission. I think its been more that tiring and energy sapping than hectic. Home is no longer home when it turns into a sick bay, I tell you.

I have had such a lot of things to write about but now have lost taste for all of it (kinda literally). The only thing which I am glad about is that I do not have any more children (or wives) which effectively means no one else is 'due' for another round of sickness. So hopefully, I should be back to writing soon. That's it for now.

Mass Journal : Obedience To The Spirit & Fasting

"Am I listening to voice of Holy Spirit and acting under obedience to it. Do I give appropriate importance to fasting as a part of my walk with the Lord"

First Reading:Acts 12:24-13:5
Gospel: John 12:44-50

Mass Journal : Finding Meaning & Purpose In All Things

"Find meaning and purpose in whatever that comes my way and do it with all sincerity with utmost faith & diligence and without any doubt and complaining."


(Homily on the Feast of St.Joseph, The Worker)